Saturday, February 18, 2017

Did U Put the Ant in Cantaloupe?

It just doesn't seem right. Ants in February, feasting on tiny bits of cantaloupe on the kitchen counter when it's below freezing outside. And what sort of February is this, with cantaloupe for sale and a stretch of 60 degree days starting tomorrow? Has nature finally surrendered to the economy and abolished seasons altogether? Even the spelling of the word "cantaloupe" comes as a surprise, after a lifetime of not really noticing. Maybe one of our political parties will once again decide it dislikes all things french, and defiantly serve "cantalope" with American fries in the cafeteria of the U.S. Congress. Their presidential candidate will boldly declare that "This campaign is all about U", and promise that, to strengthen the nation's moral character, his first action as president will be to proclaim that the english language can't elope with French words. The other political party, tired of relentless negativity, will base its campaign on the slogan "Yes we canaloupe". By this time, a previous president will have indefinitely suspended all future elections, consigning the nation to a campaign season without substance and without end. Meanwhile, the meekest and tiniest among the ants, thriving in a climate made weird by too many tiny molecules in the atmosphere, and seeing the big-brained species devolving into nonsense, will seize the day and inherit the earth.


4 comments:

Pat Palmer said...

I tried living with these critters in our kitchen. Then they got too bold, so I tried killing them. Killed quite a few--but there were always more--and I hated the bait and the act of killing, so I stopped that. Now I try to be respectful--I don't even squash the little, individual scouts on the counter. But I keep every bit of food cleaned off and locked up tight. They did manage to get into a jar of raw honey once. Unfortunately for them, it was so dense they couldn't get out again, so all the ones that got in there, died there. While pigging out, as it happens.

Stephen Hiltner said...

A honey trap. Worth a try. If the trap had digestive enzymes to dissolve the ants so that there was constantly room for more, it would be imitating the sundew plant.

Debbie Bush said...

Speaking not of "fourmis" but of presidents, "Chacun voit midi à sa porte," or better yet, "Inutile de discuter," at this time.

Stephen Hiltner said...

The blog's first comment in french. Vive le diversite!